I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
