I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
