The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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