He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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