Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
