He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I need moral support for this bender
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize
