i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
