dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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