i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
