I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
We got so high we made milksteak
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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