went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
