Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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