And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
