look no pants
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
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