My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Randomize
