Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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