then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
