can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
