accomplished twins. life is a go
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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