I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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