It was confusing and full of hummus
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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