I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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