Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
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