you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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