Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
