I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
