I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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