I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
