Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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