They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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