your thong is hanging out like whoa
I feel great
I just peed on a car
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
