You're so nebulous sometimes
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
