Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
