if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Vodka?
Forever.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
