Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
