God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
