:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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