Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
