I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
