I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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