I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
