I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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