No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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