He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
