I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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