Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Randomize
