in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
