There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
