O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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