please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
